


Why Do You Think It Feels This Way?

by LostAndDelirious



Series: You've Got Me Almost Melting Away [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Clexa, F/F, clarke is going through a breakup with finn, clexa au, clexa one shot, octavia and lincoln are about to get married, sort of a slow burn, they're at a lake house and there's a cabin and a tent involved, warning: this is not fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 19:41:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18857788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostAndDelirious/pseuds/LostAndDelirious
Summary: I wanted to write a short one shot based on a little prompt I had in my head, and it turned into this.Clarke and Raven drive north to spend a weekend with Octavia and Lincoln to celebrate their wedding, which is soon approaching. Lincoln's two best friends are set to join them as well. A fun weekend ensues, but emotions also flow. Clarke is coming out of a breakup with Finn and she can't help but be sad. Lexa's hotness is a mild distraction. Okay, it's a big distraction.orClarke and Lexa meet through mutual friends at a lake house and have an interesting weekend.





	Why Do You Think It Feels This Way?

**Author's Note:**

> BIG THANK YOU to my buddy @kay_be for proofing this for me, and especially just in time for me to post before I leave for a week-ish long vacation. I appreciate you (probably more than you appreciate me begging you to beta this for me).
> 
> For those reading "Maple Bourbon Candles" and "13 Clans" ... those fics are not on hiatus. I've started the next chapters to both, it's just been a hectic time at work and now I'm heading on a rather fun trip. They will be updated after Memorial Day. :)
> 
> I'll probably be active on Tumblr while I'm away because I can't stay away from there.  
> https://cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com/
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this one. Thanks for being awesome readers.

**PART 1**

Nearing the end of what felt like the longest drive of their lives, Clarke and Raven were finally in the home stretch. The two were squeezed into Clarke’s Subaru Crosstrek, a car that was by far too sporty for the blonde, but was a purchase she hoped would help her become a little more attuned with Mother Nature. Nevertheless, the vehicle felt fitting for the weekend they were embarking on. It was to be expected of Octavia to be spontaneous; when the girl had texted her two friends that she and Lincoln were planning a last minute hoorah, a joint celebration before their impending wedding, both Clarke and Raven knew that they would end up in New Hampshire. Despite the long drive, Clarke was thankful for this weekend away from New York. She didn’t realize it until they hit the road, but she really needed to get away.

It was promised to be a small get together, just the celebrants and their best friends. Octavia mentioned something about a lake house on an island that you needed a boat to get to it. She also mentioned to bring a tent because according to her, waking up right at the foot of the lake was like waking up in heaven.

Raven pulled the red polyester-feeling bag from the backseat and turned to Clarke, “I can’t believe you dragged me to a Walmart and I can’t believe we now own a tent. What are we even going to do with this thing after this weekend?”

Clarke shrugged, “Maybe O and Linc will want it.”

“Ha,” Raven laughed at the naivety of her friend’s statement, “they’re actual outdoorsy people, Griff. They camp and hike and all that shit all the time. I think they have all the gear they need, and I doubt they would want this flimsy $20 excuse for a tent,” she cocked her head to the side, looking at the bag, “ Do you even know how to put this thing together?”

“It can’t be that hard, can it?” Clarke wrinkled her nose, earning a shrug from the other girl, “We’ll just get O to do it for us.”

The sun had set midway through their drive and the sky was now a hazy mixture of navy blue and black. In the three months that Octavia had been living with Lincoln, neither of her friends had made the trip up north to visit. The GPS indicated that they had arrived at their destination, but they were amongst houses that weren’t numbered, leaving them to some sort of a guessing game. Octavia told them that Lincoln was already at the lake house, preparing it for everyone’s stay, and that she would be at the grocery store getting a few things for the weekend, but to make themselves at home. Clarke slowly drove up and down the street a few times before choosing a house.

“Lincoln has an old, beat up pick up, right? Think that’s it?” Clarke asked her co-pilot as she slowly crept up the driveway.

As they made their way, Raven noticed something in the short distance, closer to where the garage met the end of the pavement, “Did we miss a memo about a tailgate or something?”

When the car was finally parked, Clarke saw two girls sitting in camping chairs in the middle of the driveway with a cooler settled between them, each girl clad with a can of beer to their lips. She hopped out and took a moment to stretch her legs before making her way to the pair, “Hi, I’m Clarke,” she earned a nod from one of the girls, “This is Lincoln and Octavia’s place, right? We’re O’s friends from back home.”

Her question was met with eyes from both girls. After a brief moment of silence, the girl with the sharpest jawline she had ever seen finally spoke up, “Sure is. Want a beer?” she asked with a quipped brow and an amused expression on her face.

The cooler in front of them was being opened and a foray of single cans and bottles of different craft beer was being showcased to her. She made a mental note to ask why there was only one of each kind, and why none of them looked remotely familiar to her.

“Quite the collection.” Clarke observed, right as Raven was making her way over, “This is Raven, by the way.”

The girl who initially offered Clarke a beer looked to Raven and did the same. Once everyone had one in their hands, they mumbled something about toasting to Lincoln and Octavia getting married before Raven spoke up, “Does anyone know where the bathroom is?”

The talkative one, a nickname Clarke had dubbed for the girl in her head, stood up to lead the way into the dark garage. Clarke turned around to see the other girl also slowly get up. She couldn’t help but notice that even though she seemed to have a sort of sadness in her eyes, she was exquisitely beautiful. She smiled at the girl, earning a small one back. _Well, at least that’s something_ , Clarke thought.

All four girls were walking in the dark, bumping into things before Raven asked, “Can we get a light on or something?”

The talkative one looked to Raven, “Zero idea where the switch is, but I’m assuming the door leading to the house is this way.”

Clarke raised a brow, “Assuming? Have you guys not been here before?”

“You know,” the quiet one who was trailing behind Clarke finally spoke up, “you guys show up to a house, not realizing if it was the right one. You gave us information about yourselves without asking for any from us in return. You took drinks from us, and then followed us into the house which we clearly aren’t familiar with. Are you both always so trusting?”

Clarke froze. The girl was right. She’s seen too many scary movies to know what all the possible outcomes could be.

But before she had time to have a mini freak out, the door to the house was opened and light inside the garage came on. The talkative girl shouted back to the other, “Stop being a dick, Lex. Linc made us promise not to scare off Octavia’s friends and you’ve probably managed to do that already with your pouty face and creepy commentary.” She then turned to Clarke, “But she’s kind of right, didn’t they teach you about ‘stranger danger’ in school? I’m Anya, by the way. That’s Lexa.”

Lexa wore a devilish grin as she looked to Clarke, “I’m sorry. I could tell you were nervous and I just had to feed into it.”

“If this is any indication of how this weekend is going to go, I want no part in it.” Clarke grimaced.

When Raven exited the bathroom, the four girls congregated around the kitchen island to talk and finish their drinks. She took an open spot next to Anya before asking, “So how is it that you guys know Lincoln?”

The talkative girl smiled, “He’s my best friend from college, we went to Polis University together.”

“Nice,” Raven replied, before turning to Lexa. “You too?”

Lexa shook her head, “Anya and I have known each other our whole lives, I just visited her a lot and met Lincoln that way.”

Clarke looked to the brunette, her mood had finally softened after the little scare Lexa tried to pull, “We went to college with O. We all met at Arkadia, have been inseparable since.”

“Well,” Lexa cocked a brow at Clarke, “wouldn’t you say you’re technically separated now since she’s living up here?”

Anya rolled her eyes, “Don’t be a jackass, Lex,” earning a shrug and a smirk from her friend.

Clarke gritted her teeth. There was definitely something about this girl. She couldn’t tell if she was annoyed by whatever it was, or if she found it amusing, but she guessed she would have it figured out sooner or later.

In the midst of their exchange, the front door flew open and Octavia pushed her way through with grocery bags up and down both of her arms, “You guys made it!”

“O, we’re only going to be at the lake house for two nights, it looks like you bought enough food for two weeks.” Raven said, hugging the girl and taking some of the bags from her.

“Well,” she smiled, “you bitches are all picky eaters so I had to get stuff to accommodate everyone’s distinguished palates.”

Clarke grabbed a few bags from her friend as well after enveloping her into a warm embrace, “Excuse me, I am far from a picky eater.”

They made their way back to the kitchen island, removing the contents of each bag and starting to sort through everything, “You’re right, Griff, but between this one,” looking at Raven, “not eating red meat, and this one,” now looking at Anya, “not wanting anything to do with dairy even though she’s not allergic, and this one,” her attention now on Lexa, “not consuming any carbs even if she doesn’t have a gluten allergy, the shopping took longer than expected.”

Clarke took a look at Lexa who was wearing a loose t-shirt that had the sleeves cut off and denim shorts. From what she could take in, the girl was in good shape. Her arms and legs were incredibly toned, but not too muscular – likely the result in not binging on bread and pasta.

It didn’t take the blonde long at all to realize she was staring, and with the grin plastered on Lexa’s face, Clarke knew that her ogling didn’t go unnoticed.

\---

The five girls took the coolers of beer and food to load up Octavia’s truck. They each lugged their own backpacks and duffle bags over and carefully packed the into the trunk before climbing in. They were set to meet Lincoln at the marina where the boat was docked, anxiously awaiting the arrival of everyone in the car.

The ride was much quicker than Clarke had expected. She was nestled in the back seat between Anya and Lexa, listening to them talk about stories of Lincoln. She learned that Lexa was Anya’s best friend from home, and was also very close to the man Octavia was about to marry. There were many visits in college, and even after. Now that Lexa was living nearby, it seemed that the three were all just as close as herself, Raven, and Octavia.

Octavia pulled into a spot next to Lincoln’s car and everyone started unloading things from the back to carry over to the dock. Anya and Octavia tackled the beer cooler while Clarke and Raven handled the one filled with their food and sustenance for the weekend. When they reached the spot where Lincoln’s boat was docked, Clarke had noticed Lexa carrying an extra bag from the car.

“What’s that?” Clarke asked, pointing to what Lexa was settling down next to the rest of the bags.

Lexa smiled, “Aria’s stuff. She’s at the lake house already. Linc brought her over when he went to go clean up this afternoon so we wouldn’t have to take two cars from the house tonight.”

“Aria?” Raven asked, wondering who this addition to the group was.

Octavia was about to answer her friend’s question when Anya cut in, “Love of Lexa’s life.”

“That she is, that she is.” Lexa smiled, the sadness that was once in her eyes had totally disappeared, something Clarke quickly picked up on.

As the crew started loading the boat, Clarke had her eyes fixed on Lexa who was still smiling at the thought of Aria. _Of course she had someone._ Though she had an odd sense of humor, she was unequivocally the most attractive girl Clarke had ever met. Now all she could wonder about was how attractive this Aria was.

She was lost in her thoughts when she felt arms around her waist and her feet being lifted off the ground. Next thing she knew, she was being spun in circles by Lincoln, “Clarke! I’m so happy you guys are here!”

Clarke returned the embrace as the man set her down, “Let’s see this boat of yours, Captain!”

The ride to the lake house was serene. Clarke couldn’t find any other way to explain it. It was dark out, but the calmness of the water and the soft summer breeze in her hair was exactly what she needed. Lincoln was driving, with Raven at his side – teaching the girl how to maneuver the boat at night; she was always one to fixate over anything with a motor.

Clarke was seated in the back with the other three, when she decided to speak up, “So, Lexa. How long have you been with Aria?”

“Well, that’s see,” Lexa had her hand to her chin and the look on her eyes showed she was in thought, “it’s been two or three years I think. Right, An?”

Clarke didn’t realize, but Anya and Octavia both raised a brow at Lexa’s reply.

Anya looked at Lexa, “Yeah, I guess it’s been about that long. Time flies when you’re being domesticated, huh?”

Octavia laughed and turned to Clarke, “You’ll love her, Griff. She’s great. Just your type.”

“My type?” Clarke questioned and then laughed, “Are you trying to set me up with Lexa’s betrothed?”

“There will be no ‘setting up,’ Clarke. But I won’t be offended if you take a strong liking to her, even if you fall in love. She’s truly got everything going for her, soft and silky hair, always happy, gets along with everyone, loves me to pieces. What more could a girl ask for?” Lexa shrugged.

“Okay,” Clarke started, feeling something similar to a pang of jealousy because of Lexa’s flaunting, though unknowing of Clarke’s recent heartbreak, “enough out of you.” She turned to Anya, “So what about you? This one over here is clearly in love, and we’re here celebrating O and Linc. Anyone for you?”

Anya laughed, “No way. I don’t think anyone can keep up with me. The sass is too real.”

“Her and Raven are basically each other’s spirit animals.” Octavia laughed.

Anya turned her attention back to Clarke, “What about you, blondie? Anyone rockin’ your boat?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Funny. No. I mean, I was with someone for a while, but not anymore, I guess.”

Octavia looked to her friend, “He was a dick. You’re better off without him.”

“I know,” Clarke sighed, “I know I’m better off without him, but when you’re used to someone being there for so long, it still stings a little to not have that.”

“What’s his name?” Lexa asked.

Clarke looked up to the girl, Lexa’s playful eyes now turned into ones more serious. Clarke wondered if she was actually feeling a bit of sympathy for her, especially after going on about her girlfriend, “Finn,” she answered.

“Well,” Lexa said, “I was going to say he must be an idiot for whatever he did to you, because from what I’ve seen so far, you seem like quite the catch, aside from following strangers into a strange house. But then you had to go and say his name was ‘Finn’ and that automatically makes him an idiot. Who’s name is ‘Finn’ anyway?”

Clarke laughed and then sighed, “Thanks, Lexa. Feelin’ better already.”

“Yeah?” Lexa asked.

“No, not really.” Clarke laughed again, concealing a hint of a sad smile.

**PART 2**

“You’re truly an idiot, Lexa.” Clarke laughed, watching the girl greet Aria.

As soon as Lexa opened the door to the lake house, she was welcomed by Aria charging towards her at full force and jumping on her, causing the brunette to fall on her backside right in the entryway. Aria’s barks of excitement when Lexa walked in were unparalleled to any greeting Clarke’s ever received before: human or canine.

“Clarke, meet Aria.” Lexa laughed, “And before you say anything, I just want to set the record straight. I never said anything about her not being a dog.”

Clarke shook her head at Lexa before she knelt down to say hi to the golden retriever, “True. And you were right, nice silky hair you’ve got on this one.” She didn’t know why, but a sort of relief flooded over her when she realized Aria wasn’t Lexa’s human counterpart.

“What can I say?” Lexa started, “I have a soft spot for pretty blondes.”

Clarke turned her attention away from the dog back to its owner, but was too late. Lexa was already walking out the door to help unload everything that had been packed onto the boat.

_This is going to be an interesting weekend._

\---

“Linc,” Raven turned to her friend, “this house is so damn cute.”

Octavia smiled lovingly at her fiancé, “To be honest, it’s the only reason I agreed to marry him.”

“I could think of a few other reasons, but I don’t want to gross our friends out too soon into the weekend,” Lincoln smiled as he kissed the tip of Octavia’s nose before turning his attention to Raven, “Thanks, Rae. My parents bought it when I was a kid. Spent a lot of our summers out here.”

Anya and Lexa finished unpacking the coolers of food and drinks into the fridge when Anya turned to Clarke and Raven, “You two should set up in the second bedroom in the back. Lex and I will sleep in here.”

“I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.” Clarke offered.

“Actually,” Lexa started, “these couches turn into pullouts and are much bigger than the twin beds in that room. With the way Aria sleeps, a the bit of extra space wouldn’t hurt.”

Clarke shrugged, “Okay, whatever’s easier for you guys then. Just tell me where to go.”

“Come on,” Octavia offered, picking up one of Clarke’s bags, “I’ll show you and Rae the room. Get settled so we can get our drink on.”

Lincoln called out to Octavia who was already down the hall, “Can we not be hungover for tomorrow, though? Everyone’s coming by and I don’t want to be a shell of a human like last time.”

“Everyone?” Raven asked Octavia, as they entered the bedroom.

“Last time?” Clarke chimed in.

Octavia shook her head as she laughed, “Linc’s friends are coming tomorrow evening for a little partying before the camp-out near the water. Last time we had people out here, Linc and Lexa tried going drink-for-drink for like ten hours straight. Girl is tiny as fuck, but she totally outdrank him. He was knocked on his ass. Poor guy, took him three days to recover.”

“She’s actually my new favorite person.” Raven laughed.

“Yeah,” Octavia agreed, “she’s the best. People always ask me if I ever get jealous that his two best friends are hot girls, and even if they weren’t lesbians, I wouldn’t be. They’re both so fucking awesome.”

Clarke smiled at her friend, “I’m happy you found him, O. I can’t believe you’re getting married so soon. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“You and me both, Griff,” Octavia laughed, “you know me. Never thought I’d actually conform to societal norms, but he’s special and he wanted it and I wanted to make him happy. If someone told me that I’d be the first of us three to get married, I would have died laughing.”

“I think we all would have.” Raven added, with a grin.

The three old friends made their way back to the main room of the house to find Lincoln, Lexa, and Anya setting up a makeshift bar on the dining table.

“You’re the one that asked to not have a repeat of last time, yet here you are setting up a bar.” Octavia stated, as she wrapped her arms around Lincoln’s waist.

The man shrugged, “Last time involved ten hours of drinking, this time will involve two.”

“He’s turning into a softy.” Lexa smirked as she handed Raven and Clarke drinks.

Clarke took a sip before making a gagging noise, almost spitting the drink out, “Jesus, Lexa. What is this?”

Octavia turned to her friend, “I told you the girl could drink,” she then directed her attention to Lexa, “What are you doing? Trying to get my friends drunk? It’s night one, stop making drinks with the Lexa pour.”

Clarke raised a brow, “Lexa pour?”

“She has a heavy hand when it comes to tending the bar.” Anya laughed, taking the drink Lexa handed to her, “Here’s a normal one. We call it the Anya pour, because I’m civilized.”

“Not trying to get anyone drunk, just trying to have a good time.” Lexa shrugged as she took a sip of her concoction.

\---

Lincoln and Octavia said their goodnights before heading into the master bedroom. To their advantage, it was decently late, so the girls that were still up couldn’t protest too much. Anya had gone to the bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready for bed as well, signaling that the night was close to coming to an end.

“I’m going to take Aria out, then I guess it’s bedtime for us too.” Lexa said, getting up and signaling for the dog to come over to her. She patted her on the head and made her way to the front door when a yawn escaped her mouth.

“Don’t you need a leash?” Clarke asked, watching as Lexa was about to open the door for Aria to run out.

Lexa smiled, “Nope, she doesn’t stray too far from me. Especially in the dark.”

Clarke returned the smile, “Want some company?”

“We would be honored.”

When Lexa walked out of the front door with Aria trailing closely behind her, Clarke stood up to follow suit when Raven lightly grabbed her arm to get her attention.

With a smirk on her face, she asked her friend, “Whatcha’ up to here, Griff?”

Clarke just answered with a shrug as she followed Lexa out the front door. To be fair, Clarke really didn’t know what she was up to. The buzz that was coursing through her was tempting her to try to spend just a little more time with the beautiful dog owner.

She looked down towards the water and there was no sign of Lexa or her four-legged companion. She decided to make her way down there anyway, hoping she’d find them along the way, and kicking herself for not bringing out some sort of light.

“Over here.” She heard a voice call out to her, just a few feet to the right.

Her eyes wandered and she saw Lexa sitting at one the chairs next to an empty fire pit, Aria not too far away, chasing her tail with an excited look on her face. Clarke smiled and took the seat next to Lexa, “She’s a ball of energy.”

“I know,” Lexa smiled, “she loves it here. Always gets so excited when we come, hopefully she tires herself out soon so I can go to sleep.”

Clarke leaned back in the chair, making herself a little more comfortable, “It’s nice you guys get to do this often,” she sighed as she looked over to the lake which was glistening under the brightness of the moon, “I want to come up here more, I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve been out for a visit.”

“You should.” Lexa replied, “I’m glad I moved up here. Needed the change of pace.”

Clarke wondered what it was that brought the girl to New Hampshire. She knew that she was a friend of Anya’s from back home, but realized she didn’t even know where ‘home’ was to the girl, “Change of pace from what? What brought you out here?”

“Bad breakup. Too much of Boston had been tainted for me. Guess I just wanted to get away. Actually, I think I needed to get away,” Lexa shrugged.

Clarke nodded, “I know the feeling. That’s my exact sentiment on New York at the moment.”

Lexa offered her a soft smile before deciding to open up just a little bit more. She didn’t know if it was alcohol or if she was actually just comfortable with the girl, “We were together for five years. Hit a rough patch while she... while Costia was in law school. I thought it would pass once the stress of the bar was done, but I guess I was wrong. Looking back, I think we were only actually happy for the first two years. The rest of the time, I was just trying to find ways to get things back to how they were. Kind of pathetic, right?”

“No, not pathetic at all,” Clarke said, putting her hand on Lexa’s for reassurance, “I get it. And I think what you did was admirable, you were trying to salvage a good thing. With Finn… we were together all throughout college, all throughout me going to med school. I was stressed and busy. I would have given the world if he would have done what you did, trying to find ways to help getting things back to how they were. Instead he decided to fuck any girl that looked at him, and I didn’t find out until two months ago.”

Lexa turned her hand upright to squeeze Clarke’s, “Well, Clarke, that just goes to show. You can’t trust a guy with a stupid name.”

“I’ll remember that next time.”

Lexa let go of Clarke’s hand when Aria started moseying her way to them, “I think someone’s finally sleepy.”

“Why’d you name her Aria?” Clarke asked, reaching down to pet the dog who was now sitting at her feet.

Lexa smiled at the sight of Clarke’s interest in her sleepy companion, “I got her when I realized Costia and I weren’t doing so well. I think at the time, I just needed to feel like I was actually needed, as sad as that may sound. As soon as I saw her, I felt like I was hit with a wave of fresh air. Aria means ‘air’ in Italian, seemed like it would be a good fit.”

“Definitely a good fit. I love it.” Clarke smiled.

\---

The sun was making its way up. The blinds in the room were closed, but there were little beams of light still peering through between the small planks of wood.

“Rae, what the fuck?” Clarke groaned from the incredibly tiny mattress she was cozied up in, “Get off my bed, what are you doing?”

She heard a stir coming from the bed next to hers, “What are you talking about, Griff?”

Clarke immediately shot up, wondering what was laying on top of her legs, only to find Aria cuddled up at the bottom of her bed, her head nuzzled into the back of Clarke’s legs.

“Oh.”

“Is that Lexa’s dog?” Raven asked, rubbing her eyes and now awake.

Just then, they heard footsteps coming towards the door and a loud whisper behind it, “Aria, get out here right now.”

The dog looked to the door then looked at Clarke and decided to lay back down on the girl, earning a laugh from Clarke.

“It’s okay, Lexa.” Clarke called out from within the room, “She’s fine. You can come in if you want, though.”

The door slowly opened before Lexa peeked her head in, “I’m so sorry, guys. I just got up to change and she must have ran in here.”

“You’re lucky she’s cute.” Raven grumbled, putting her head under her pillow to hide out the light.

Clarke laughed, “You’re acting like you even knew she was in here, Rae.”

With her face still buried in the pillow, Raven replied “I knew because you woke up and started yelling at me.”

“Let me take her so you guys can sleep in more.” Lexa offered.

Clarke shook her head and stood up. She ran her hand through her hair, wondering what she even looked like at the moment. She took notice of Lexa’s neat ponytail and what seemed to be a running outfit and suddenly felt a little self-conscious of her own appearance.

She walked towards Lexa, motioning for them both to go into the open area of the house when Aria jumped off the bed to follow, “Going somewhere?” she asked the brunette.

“Quick run around the island.” Lexa shrugged.

Clarke smiled, “Want a cup of coffee before you go? I am in dire need after you tried to poison me with that drink last night.”

“I’ll have one after my run. If you think you can hold out on your caffeine fix until I get back, I do make a mean cup of coffee…” Lexa offered.

Clarke smiled as she grabbed a bag of grounds, “I’ll have to take you up on that another time. If I want to be a functioning human, I’ll need at least two cups of this stuff in the next twenty minutes.”

“Suit yourself, Clarke.” Lexa smiled as she unzipped the hoodie she was wearing, only to show there was no layer of a shirt between the sweater and her sports bra.

Clarke couldn’t help but stare, and Lexa couldn’t help but notice.

**PART 3**

The day was everything Clarke had hoped for. Lounging in hammocks, grilling lunch, running around with Aria, and a ride on the boat during the day to get a tour of the lake. They had all just come back from their little boat adventure, when Clarke decided that she needed more time on the water. It seemed to be the one place at the moment where she was actually feeling good.

When they finally had the boat secured on the dock, Clarke turned to Lincoln, “Do you guys have any floats or tubes that I can lay on out there? I think I just need to stay on the water a bit more.”

Lexa stepped towards Clarke, “I can get them, Linc. As long as they’re where they were last time?”

“Yep! Thanks, Lex. I’m going to help O and An with the food for when the guys get here.” Lincoln called out.

“Raven, do you want one, too?” Lexa asked, before opening the small shed to the side of the house.

“No can do, kiddo. I’m going to need a nap if I’m expected to party later.” Raven called out, following Lincoln into the house.

Clarke smiled at Lexa, “Thanks. You don’t have to babysit me if you want to go inside, though.”

“I like being out here, remember? Change of pace and everything?” Lexa smiled, handing Clarke an inner tube and a foot pump, “Do think you can handle blowing up that thing on your own?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “I may not have arms like yours, but I’m sure I can manage.”

Lexa smirked, “So then you wouldn’t mind blowing up mine too if I ran inside to change?”

“Wouldn’t want to deprive you from a good arm workout today, Lexa. Yours can wait until you’re back.”

Lexa laughed as she walked towards the house to grab a swimsuit when she realized Aria wasn’t behind her. She looked back and saw that her dog was waiting patiently near Clarke, and that Clarke was talking to her, though she couldn’t make out what she was saying, “Hey,” she called back, “are you going to be alright with her for a few minutes?”

“More than alright,” Clarke called back, “but hurry up so we can get our butts in the water!”

Lexa walked into the house with a smile on her face, greeted by Anya who was smiling even bigger, “What’s got you cheesin’?”

Lexa looked at her friend, “Nothing, I just need to grab something from my bag.”

She made her way to the living room to dig through her duffle bag until she finally found what she was looking for. She ran to the bathroom to change and when she opened the door, Raven was standing in the hallway waiting to enter the room.

“Jeez, who knew you were hiding that bod under your baggy clothes. You’re going to give Clarke a heart attack if you run out there all Baywatch style.”

Lexa rolled her eyes at the girl’s comments, grabbing two towels from a nearby shelf and making her way back out the front door, “You’re more than welcome to join us still, Raven.”

Raven winked before walking into the bathroom, “I think I’ll leave you two to it, but thanks.”

Clarke was nearly finished with the second tube, Aria still by her side, when she looked up to see Lexa walking towards her. The two piece she was wearing was red, and arguably the most feminine-looking thing she’s seen Lexa wear thus far. At this point, she knew she was staring and she knew Lexa noticed it as well, but she was beyond the point of caring. The only thing she didn’t realize was that her jaw was nearly on the ground.

“You okay over there, Clarke?” Lexa smirked, knowing well that she was having an effect on the girl.

“Yep, just finishing up your tube,” Clarke started, wondering if she was actually drooling or not, “I know O said you don’t eat carbs, but now I can see why.”

Lexa laughed nearing Clarke and taking over the foot pump, “I just like to stay in shape.”

“Post-break up revenge bod?” Clarke asked, her eyes still seemingly fixated on the brunette’s toned stomach.

“Nope,” Lexa smiled, “I’ve been a stickler about working out and eating well since long before her.”

Clarke nodded, “Well, for what it’s worth, your ex is an idiot for not appreciating what she had,” before Lexa could get a word in, Clarke corrected what she was trying to say, “I mean, I know you’re more than that, though. Nice girl, nice to look at, nice all around, I suppose.

Lexa stopped what she was doing to look up and eye Clarke who had shed her own clothes and was also clad in only a bikini, “I guess I could say the same for the boy with a stupid name.”

Clarke couldn’t help but blush. She knew it was the third time she had been caught letting her eyes linger on Lexa, but this was the first time she realized the other girl reciprocating things. As much as she wanted to say that it was just all in her mind, Lexa’s words affirmed it.

Not really sure how to continue the conversation without either sounding overly thirsty or embarrassing herself, she went to pick up the thin rope Lexa had taken from the shed along with the tubes, “What’s this for?”

“I was going to tether one of us to the dock and then to the other tube, unless you want to float away and find your way back.” Lexa smiled, finally plugging the air hole on her tube.

\---

They had been on the water for nearly an hour, the heat of the summer sun beaming on them, causing them to have to continuously flip how they were laying to avoid getting too burnt, “This is nice.” Clarke mumbled.

Lexa, in a similar state of bliss agreed, “Mhm.”

“Do you think they’re going to get mad that we’re not helping?” Clarke asked motioning back to the house.

Lexa laughed, “No, Lincoln loves doing that stuff. Anya and Octavia are probably just watching TV or something.”

“Yeah,” Clarke agreed, “and Raven’s probably still asleep.”

“She’s a funny one.” Lexa said, at the mention of the girl.

Clarke chuckled, “Rae? Yeah, she’s a firecracker.”

Lexa sat up in her tube to face Clarke, “She said something funny when I went inside to change,” she offered, “something about me in my bikini, Baywatch, and giving you a heart attack,” her smile now turned into a smug grin.

“Lexa, I can’t help it if I have a fine appreciation for the female form,” Clarke replied, still laying down and making sure not to make eye contact with the other girl, “It’s not my fault that you aren’t hard on the eyes.”

Lexa, clearly amused with the conversation, “Is that right?”

“Yes,” Clarke answered, “now shut up and let me admire in peace, okay?”

\---

“Look who finally decided to join us.” Anya laughed, motioning to Clarke and Lexa who were both sunkissed and full of smiles.

“Yeah,” Raven added, “only two hours later.”

Clarke turned to Lexa, “I’m not sure if I like the two of them together. I feel like they feed off of each other’s energy, and that scares me.”

Lexa laughed as she wrapped her towel around her waist, “Linc, is the outdoor shower working? I can hop in there so Clarke can use the shower in here.”

Lincoln nodded, finishing the marinade he was making for the chicken he was planning to grill for dinner, “Yep, you need to bring out shampoo and stuff, though.”

Clarke made her way into the bathroom to run the water when Lexa ran in after her. She suddenly became very aware of how small the space was when the brunette started reaching across her to grab a few items to bring outside.

“Sorry, I’ll be out of here in a sec.” Lexa apologized.

“Take your,” Clarke was interrupted when Lexa’s full frontside accidentally brushed into her whole backside as she was grabbing for one final thing, “time…”

Jolted by the touch, and knowing Clarke was as well, Lexa sped out of the tiny room, “Sorry again, see you in a bit.”

As soon as Lexa left, Clarke quickly closed and locked the door, leaning against it from the inside. There was no doubt in her mind that she was still struggling with her recent breakup, but she couldn’t help but let her mind wander to this new distraction in her life and how unbelievably attractive she was. She also knew that the recent flirting from the afternoon didn’t help, so she did the only thing that she figured would help: take a freezing, cold shower.

\---

“They’re here!” Octavia yelled, watching the boat pull onto the other side of the dock from the kitchen window, Aria had her paws on the windowsill and was barking with more excitement than she had all weekend.

A large, bearded man was waving feverously, “Ahoy!” he called out, finally putting the boat to a stop before jumping out and securing a few ropes.

“Hope we’re not too early, don’t think we could have waited any longer.” A second bearded man shouted as he found his way to the dock, helping the first man keep the boat in place.

A slender woman followed suit, “You both are like children, you know that?”

Lincoln’s voice called out from the front of the house, “Indra, I thought you said you were going to be containing these two goons, it doesn’t look like you’ve been doing a very good job.”

The woman smiled at what Lincoln had just called out, “You know, Linc… I think they’re just happy that someone agreed to marry you so they wouldn’t have to end up taking care of you.”

Raven stepped onto the front porch to see what all the commotion was, “This looks like it’s about to get rowdy.”

“You have no idea…” Lexa stated, taking a step onto the front porch as well, she turned her attention to the three that were heading towards the house and smirked, “Look what the cat dragged in.”

“Get over here, you little devil.” The first bearded man said, picking Lexa up and effortlessly swinging in the air, causing the girl to squeak.

She was still being swayed midair, laughing at the man’s welcome, “Gus, put me down! Please!”

A jolly, guttural laugh came from the man’s mouth as he set her to the ground, “Just happy to see you, kid. You look good!”

Before Lexa could respond, she felt herself getting hoisted up into the air for a second time, this time it was the second man swinging her about, “Nyko! Guys! Since when did this become a customary greeting between you two?”

Nyko finally set Lexa down, “Lex, come on! You don’t come out with us much anymore, at least not since you moved here. This is exciting! It’s like the band’s all back together with good food, and a lot of beer. And some new faces?” he asked, turning his attention to Raven who was standing near Lexa, and Clarke who had just emerged from the front door, silently watching as Lexa was being swung about, laughing her pretty face off.

Raven smiled and held her hand out to the man, “Nyko, was it? I’m Raven and next time I see you, I fully expect a greeting like that.”

The man laughed and turned to Gus, “I like her already,” he brought his attention back to Gus and Indra and introduced them both to Raven and then to Clarke who was standing behind her.

“Raven, Clarke,” Lexa started, “Gus, Nyko, and Indra are all longtime friends of Lincoln’s. Apparently they’ve been inseparable ever since they were in diapers. They used to visit Linc a lot at school and I’d visit Anya a lot, so our paths have definitely crossed a magnitude of times. Guys,” she said, turning to Lincoln’s friends, “Raven and Clarke are old friends of Octavia’s. They drove up from New York for the weekend, so I think it’s our duty to show them a good time, right? They’re leaving tomorrow, so let’s make this count,” she turned her attention to Clarke and winked.

“Oh, we will show them a good time, indeed.” Gus laughed, rubbing his hands together as if this was his plan all along.

“Alright, alright, everyone calm down,” Octavia yelled, walking out of the house, “Gus and Nyko, if you get my friends belligerent, I will slash you. The last time Clarke was deathly hungover and had to drive, the four-hour trip turned into eight. I can’t subject them to that because of whatever debauchery you have planned.”

Lexa leaned in closer to Clarke, “Remind me to remind you to tell me that story.”

Clarke swatted Lexa’s arm away and laughed, “Not a chance in hell, Lexa.”

Indra took notice of the closeness between Lexa and Clarke and raised a brow at Octavia.

“I don’t know, Indra. I don’t ask any questions.” Octavia whispered, shrugging and walking back into the house.

The full group finally made their way in following Octavia’s lead. They were picking at food and mixing drinks and laughing at stories that the newcomers were sharing at Lincoln, Anya, and Lexa’s expenses.

“This is supposed to be a party for these two,” Lexa pointed out, eyeing Lincoln and Octavia, “I’m not quite sure how embarrassing stories about me and Anya got roped into the conversation, but I’d like for them to cease.”

“Fine,” Lincoln said, “but only after Gus tells the story about the five-pound block of American cheese.”

Everyone but Raven and Clarke burst into laughter, it seems Octavia was familiar with the story as well. Clarke turned to Lexa and leaned in close, “Remind me to remind you to tell me that story.”

Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes and wore a smug grin on her face, “Not a chance in hell, Clarke.”

“You can’t steal my line, Lexa.” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“To be fair,” the brunette started, “you stole mine first.”

\---

Everyone had gone outside to have a bonfire near the water. The fire pit was roaring, embers flying into the night sky. The heat emitting from the flames mixed with the cool breeze from the lake felt like the epitome of what a summer night should be. Of what any night should be.

Clarke had been closer to the water, taking Aria for a little walk, and then tossing a ball around with her, before she made her way back to everyone else. Everyone seemed settled. Seats, makeshift and actual chairs, encompassed a full circle around the metal basin which contained the flames. Aria made a running jump onto Lexa’s lap as Lexa grunted then called out to Clarke, “You take this one, I can go and find something else.”

“No, no. It’s okay,” Clarke smiled as she walked around looking around for a stray piece of wood she could perch upon.

“Clarke,” Lexa started, “it’s really okay, I don’t mind sitting on the ground.”

Clarke made her way to where Lexa was sitting and looked down to the girl, “What makes you think I wouldn’t either?”

With that, Clarke picked up a few leaves and stray sticks that were at Lexa’s feet and threw them into the flames, before taking a seat directly in front of the girl.

“See,” Clarke started, chin in the air after raising her head to find Lexa’s gaze, “all good.”

Upon seeing Clarke settling into a new space, Aria took the liberty to jump off of Lexa and into the blonde’s lap, rushing to lick the girl’s face, earning masses of giggles from her.

Raven and Octavia were sitting directly across the giggle-show, when Raven leaned over to whisper, “Do you think Aria has a sixth sense to what Lexa is thinking? Because if you ask me, that dog is doing exactly what Lexa would be doing if we weren’t all sitting around here with them.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, “I knew this was going to happen. Leave it to Griff to get someone to fall in love with her on a weekend trip.”

“Hey,” Raven laughed, “let her live. She’s been through the ringer and back, she’s allowed to get some if she wanted to.”

Octavia scrunched her face, “Okay, ew. Lex is like Lincoln’s kid sister at this point. I can’t think of her being the one to pop Clarke’s post-Finn cherry.”

Raven put both her hands in the air in surrender, “Whatever you say, O.”

“Anyway,” Octavia went on, “Lexa’s been through it just as bad as Clarke. Don’t think she’s ready for any post-anyone cherry popping.”

“Doesn’t look that way to me,” Raven said, moving her attention back to the pair sitting across from them.

Aria was still in Clarke’s lap, and Clarke seemed to find a more comfortable position, nestled in between Lexa’s legs, with the brunette’s fingers lingering onto her shoulders, tracing odd shapes and lines as she told a story to Indra and Nyko.

The loudest yawn echoed through the yard as Gus stretched his arms over his head, “I think it’s bedtime for me,” he said before turning to Nyko and Indra, “are you kids ready to call it a night?”

“Gus, you and I literally just had took two shots, there’s no way you’re driving that boat,” Clarke stated, looking at the man who was now standing and collecting his belongings, “I think some of us are camping out in tents tonight, you guys can take our beds.”

“Yeah,” Lincoln started, “no drinking and boating. You guys are always welcome to sleep here.”

“We’ll be okay, thanks for the offer from you both, though,” Indra replied, “I haven’t been drinking like these fools, so I’ll be able to drive back,” she looked to Clarke, “Are you sure you want to tent it tonight? Forecast says showers later on until sunrise.”

Raven shot her head to Indra, then to Clarke, “Oh, I am not sleeping in that.”

“Rae,” Clarke pleaded, “I did not buy a tent for nothing. We’re doing this whether you like it or not,” earning a grunt from her friend.

“You don’t own a tent?” Lexa asked. All eyes turned to her as the question escaped her mouth, and she had suddenly become aware that her hands and fingers had found themselves playing with Clarke’s hair.

“Well,” Clarke started, “I do now. At least as of yesterday. It’s been over twenty-four hours so it’s practically like I’ve had it forever.”

Lexa smirked, “Your car had me fooled. Thought you’d be more of an outdoorsy girl than that.”

Earning a laugh from both of the blonde’s best friends, Octavia spoke up, “Clarke bought that thing when I started going camping a lot because she thought it would help her become more – what was it, Griff? – one with Mother Nature?”

“Hey,” Clarke shot her eyes towards Octavia, “in my defense, I saw how happy the whole wildlife and nature thing was making you. I was just trying to find my peace, too. And you,” she said, looking up to Lexa, “I am outdoorsy. I enjoy my time outside. Two hours floating on the lake? Loved it. Drinking near the fire? Love that too. Sitting on the ground because there were no more chairs? Sign me up to do it again.”

“Right, right,” Lexa said, petting Clarke’s head as if she were Aria, “keep telling yourself that.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and her two friends couldn’t help but chuckle.

Gus, Nyko, and Indra all started making their way around the circle to say their goodbyes. Scooping every one of the girls up into big, bear hugs, Gus and Nyko jumped aboard the vessel that had brought them there, preparing the speedboat for departure back to where they came from. Before Indra made her way down the dock, she pulled Lexa aside and asked if she could have a word with her. More times than not, Indra’s face was stern and filled with concern. Though Lexa didn’t realize it, this was one of those times.

“What’s up, bud?” Lexa asked, bearing a huge grin on her face – the product of a night well spent.

“You know, Lex,” the woman started, “It’s so good to see you. You look good, you know? I’m happy you’re having a good time here this weekend, I can see it in your eyes,” Indra trailed off, her eyes wandering to where Clarke was playing with Aria, then back to Lexa, “She seems like good people,” she stopped again, seeing Lexa’s smile widening, “but I just don’t want to see you get into another messy thing so quickly. Listen, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I know you’re still hurting a lot. She doesn’t live here, and according to her friends, she’s hurting the same way you are. Just remember that, okay?”

Lexa’s smile had dissipated into nothing, which Indra took notice to, “Hey,” the woman started again, “I just care about you. We all do. Just want to see you get back to your old self before you do something that might confuse you or make things worse, okay? It’s okay to still be healing, Lex. And it’s okay to do what you need to get things out of your system, but just watching you two tonight… it just seems like something that should be saved for when you’re both ready.”

Lexa stood there and nodded, understanding that her friend was right, but really wishing she wasn’t. She accepted the hug that was given to her, wrapping her own arms around Indra, before resting her chin on her shoulder, “She’s just made this week a little easier for me, that’s all.”

As Indra pulled away, she looked Lexa in the eyes, “And that’s okay, Lex. Just do what you think is right for yourself, okay?”

Lexa nodded, “Yeah, okay.”

**PART 4**

The brunette made her way back towards the fire pit, which was still roaring due to the extra logs Clarke was in the process of adding on. She looked up to the house and saw Anya and Raven through the kitchen window, cleaning from the little soiree. She smiled at Clarke and patted Aria on the head as she grabbed empty bottles and cans before she made her way inside, seeing if the two needed any help tidying up.

“Lex, we’re almost done in here,” Anya called out, watching her best friend separate the trash from the recycling, “want to grab the tent and start setting it up? I’m still down to sleep outside if you are.”

“Yeah,” Raven chimed in, “do you mind actually helping Clarke, too? Neither of us really know to put that damn tarp up. And I don’t trust her with the instructions, I’m not trying to get rained on tonight.”

Lexa laughed at Raven, “Why don’t you guys have O and Linc teach you? They’re pros.”

Octavia emerged from the bathroom, already dressed for bed, “Because Octavia and Lincoln are a little tipsy and have some celebrating to do,” she smirked, “you can do it, Lex. Sure Clarke would love that anyway,” she winked at the other brunette before heading into the larger bedroom and shutting the door.

Lexa scratched the back of her neck, Indra’s concern was now lingering in the back of her mind. _It’s just pitching a tent,_ she thought. _No big deal._ _Get it up then we’ll all be off to bed._

“Fine,” Lexa started, “but can you guys bring the sleeping bags and pillows on your way out? I’ll get both tents up.”

“Actually,” Anya called out to her friend, “ours is a six-person tent, Lex. Maybe we can all just share one. That way you won’t have to put two up.”

Lexa thought about it, what the pros and cons would be for sharing a confined sleeping space with Clarke, before she replied, “Aria will probably take up the whole tent with the way she stretches out, An. Plus I’m sure Clarke wants to put her new purchase to use. It’s fine, I’ll just do them both.”

She made her way outside, balancing the bag of Clarke’s much smaller tent atop the bag of Anya’s rather large one when Aria came up running to her, excited that she was back outside with her and the blonde.

Clarke saw Lexa losing her balance as the giant golden retriever pawed at her, so she ran to Lexa’s side to help. She grabbed her tent from Lexa before cocking her head to the side, “Is it bad that mine is substantially smaller?”

Lexa laughed, “Not bad, per say. It’s just really a lot smaller. I’m assuming it has a low pitch and will just fit the two of you laying side-by-side with not much room to spare. This is the one we use when we go car camping,” Lexa said, putting the larger tent bag down, “We can practically stand up in it without hitting our heads and fit three twin-sized air mattresses inside. It’s a six-person tent, but that’s just only if everyone is in a single-person sleeping bag.”

Clarke nodded, a little jealous of the fact that she wouldn’t be able to squeeze an air mattress in her new purchase, “Let me help you get yours up, then you can teach me how to do mine?” she offered.

“Well,” Lexa said, looking between the two tent bags, “yours is much easier and probably better to learn the basics on before we tackle the bigger one. Open the bag and take the pieces out, lay everything on the ground and I’ll show you what’s what.”

Clarke did as she was told, laying everything on the ground as Lexa was pointing and telling her what each item was: tent, rainfly, poles, stakes. Thankfully, it seemed a lot simpler than she had imagined. After taking inventory, she followed Lexa’s commands at how to assemble everything. To be honest, Clarke thought she’d be watching and listening as Lexa did the work herself, but to her dismay, Lexa was truly teaching her how to pitch the tent.

She laid the base tent out, “Well this is a lot smaller than I would have thought, maybe I should have gotten a four-person one,” she said, scratching her head looking at the material on the ground.

Lexa laughed, “Want a little tip for when you’re buying these things? If you’re using it for backpacking or back country camping, go with the exact count of people the tent says it holds. If you’re getting one for car camping or something like what we’re doing now? Go bigger so it’s as comfortable as it could be.”

“Duly noted,” Clarke nodded her head, as she extended the poles, trying to shove them into the slots that they needed to be settled in.

Lexa was impressed. For someone who didn’t know what they were doing, it didn’t take Clarke too long to figure out how to finish the setup of her shelter for the night. She took notice of the bewildered look on the blonde’s face, her blue eyes deep in thought as she stared at the little red tent, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded, “I just realized that the height of it is barely tall enough for me to kneel in there. Raven might actually kill me for making her do this.”

The brunette just shook her head and laughed as she dumped the contents of the larger tent onto the ground. Clarke took notice and saw that there were so many pieces in comparison to what she had emptied from her bag, “Uh,” she started, “I don’t want to get in your way, but if you just tell me what to do I can try to help,” she offered.

Lexa took count of everything in front of her. Once she separated all the things from inside the bag, she motioned for Clarke to start extending all the poles. She realized Clarke was a quick learner and was extremely thankful for it. Though Indra’s words were still in the back of her head, every time she’d look over to the blonde to check on her progress, her eyes were met with the blue ones she’d become accustomed to. Quick glances and half smiles were making Lexa work a little faster, because the sooner they were done, the sooner they could go to sleep.

“My tent could fit inside of Anya’s without a problem,” Clarke laughed, looking at the two side-by-side.

Lexa grinned, “We could probably fit two or three of your tents inside Anya’s,” she turned her attention to the blonde next to her and noticed that she was shivering, goosebumps had started to line her arms, “Are you cold?,” she asked.

Her question was answered only by a nod from Clarke, who then turned to face her.

“Come here,” Lexa whispered, moving forward to create less space between them. She took her hands and ran them up and down Clarke’s bare arms, hoping the friction would help heat up the other girl, “Is this helping?”

Clarke looked up, her face was mere inches away from Lexa’s. She made the mistake of looking right into the girl’s inhumanly perfect green eyes, now sharing a calm stare with her. She couldn’t find words to answer her question – _Yes, of course it was helping,_ but the gazing between them was coursing an electrical current through her entire body that was surely heating her up even more.

Lexa, too, realized she was stuck in the moment. She was absolutely lost in ocean of Clarke’s eyes– the kind of lost as if she was trapped in a maze and didn’t know which way to turn. The kind of lost a child feels the first time they’re ever separated from their parents, searching and searching and searching and struck with panic thinking they’d never be found again. She was lost. Deeply and utterly lost. She didn’t realize it, but her hands stopped working the blonde’s arms, she was merely holding the girl amidst their fiery gaze.

Before either girl could say anything, they were jolted out of their position, out of each other's’ arms, by the creaking sound of the front door being pushed open and voices coming closer towards them.

Lexa quickly dropped her hands and walked away from Clarke without saying a word before hurrying over to Anya, “Here, I’ll take those.”

“Griff, why the hell is this thing so tiny?” Raven asked, throwing their sleeping bags and pillows into the tent.

Clarke took a moment to gain some sort of composure before she shrugged and walked over to her friend. She looked down and Aria in tow trailing right behind her, “Lexa, I think your dog wants to sleep with me and Raven tonight.”

Anya laughed and turned to her friend, whispering so only her friend could hear, “Might not be the only one, huh?” earning a slap on the arm from Lexa.

“No more of that, An. It’s not happening.” Lexa mumbled, climbing her way inside Anya’s tent to lay out her sleeping bag and pillow on the opposite end from Anya’s, the space between them so big that she kicked herself for not bringing an air mattress. She called for Aria and heard the dog make her way back to her owner, “Hey, baby girl. You ready for bed?”

Not even a few seconds after Aria had entered the tent, Anya came inside and called for Raven and Clarke to join them as well, “Bring a bottle of whiskey, though!”

Raven eventually entered, bottle held high to show that she followed instructions to properly gain entry to the much larger space. She took a seat closer to Anya’s side, knowing that Clarke would probably end up gravitating towards the brunette and her dog.

“No cups?” Anya asked, raising a brow.

“Trying to reduce plastic waste one solo cup at a time,” Raven shrugged, before taking a sip directly from the bottle and handing it to Anya who did the same.

\---

Nearly an hour had gone by, as did half of the whiskey bottle. The storm crept over the lake and rain was coming down a little heavier with sounds of thunder booming above their heads, and lightning illuminating up the night sky.

“I think I’m going to make a break for it before it gets even worse,” Raven started, “It’s probably better I go before I drink anymore and make inappropriate comments.”

Clarke smirked, “You’ve been inappropriate all night, Rae. All weekend, actually. Think it’s a little late for that.”

“That’s why you love me,” Raven said, pretending to blow a kiss to the blonde, “You comin’, Griff?”

Clarke was cozy. As the night went on, she found herself getting closer and closer to Lexa. At this point, she was practically leaning on the girl and had Aria close to her lap, “I think I’ll hang out for a few more.”

Raven winked at her friend, “Figured,” she then turned to Anya then to Lexa, “Night, ladies. Stay dry.”

Clarke couldn’t help if Raven was insinuating something with her last line. However, she knew that if she had to wonder, the girl probably was.

The bottle of whiskey was now only being shared between Clarke and Lexa, Anya politely declined it the last time Clarke tried to hand it over.

“Is it me,” Anya asked, “or am I third-wheeling in my own tent right now?”

Clarke laughed, “Stop it, no. Nothing of that sort. I can go so you guys can go to bed, though. I guess it is getting pretty late.”

“I think the rain is letting up,” Anya started, her ear pressed to the top of the tent to listen to the droplets falling, “I’m going to go to the bathroom quick,” she opened the tent door and saw that the rain had gone from what seemed like a monsoon to a light drizzle and made a running start towards the house.

Clarke took another swig of the bottle before handing it to Lexa to do the same, the whiskey was quickly coursing through her, bringing out emotions she had been holding in, “Why do you think it feels this way?”

“What does?” Lexa asked, returning the bottle to the blonde after she had taken her share.

Clarke knew Lexa was going through the same exact thing she was. Heart in shambles, yet some glimmer of hope brought around by an unexpected stranger. She sighed and looked Lexa in the eyes, “I don’t know. Everything?”

Lexa gave the girl a soft smile, knowing exactly what she was talking about, “Clarke, I wish I could answer that for you. And for me too. What I think,” she scooted closer to Clarke, wrapping her arms around the girl from behind to give her some sort of comfort, “is that a lot of people see love as weakness. It’s this expansive, passionate emotion that people pour all of themselves into. It leaves you vulnerable and if it doesn’t work out, it’s almost like you lose so much of yourself.”

“For what it’s worth,” Clarke removed Lexa’s arms from her body and turned around to look at the girl, “you’re too amazing of a person to be going through something like that. To feel that way, I mean.”

Lexa slowly nodded her head and saddened eyes met the blonde, “So are you,” she whispered.

The two fell into a comfortable gaze, similar to the one they previously shared after setting the tents up, but this time, with more honesty, more truth. Clarke leaned in to push a strand of Lexa’s hair behind her ear, wanting to see the full outline of the girl’s face in the dimmed light of the small lantern hanging above their heads. At that very moment, there was a certain look in Lexa’s eyes– the pain, the suffering, the nervousness, they all culminated into one raw emotion. The dark emerald shapes before her peered into Clarke as if the blonde would be able to solve all of her problems.

Lexa exhaled as if she had been holding her breath the entire time, finally coming to, finally able to grasp for air. Without even thinking, the brunette leaned in closer to Clarke and gently placed her lips onto the blonde’s.

It took Clarke a second to register what was happening. Lexa’s lips were on hers. Lexa was kissing her. In that exact moment in time, that’s all she wanted. She slowly eased into the kiss. Breaking away for just a brief moment to look into the brunette’s eyes, to make sure this was what the other girl truly wanted. As Lexa gave her a small nod, Clarke took her hand to the back of Lexa’s neck to pull her in just a little closer, reconnecting their lips, deepening the kiss, and allowing Lexa to offload every emotion she was holding in.

This time, Lexa broke away, needing to breathe again, needing to make sure this was real, needing to see Clarke’s face. She leaned in once more to join their lips, but as soon as she did, Clarke pulled away, looking down to the ground. As much as she was trying to, Clarke couldn’t get her head on straight. As much as she wanted this to be happening, she still felt so broken inside, and she knew Lexa did too.

“Lexa,” she started, moving her hand from the back of the brunette’s neck to the side of her face. Clarke knew what she was about to do, about to say, would possibly ruin everything that had led to that one divine moment, but she also knew she had to do the right thing, “I’m sorry. I’m not ready to be with anyone,” her eyes looked to Lexa’s, even though she didn’t want to see the disappointment and confusion from the other girl, “Not yet,” she whispered.

**PART 5**

“What’s with her?” Octavia nudged Raven’s arm, nodding her head towards Clarke who was sitting alone towards the back of the boat.

“Not sure,” Raven shrugged, “maybe she’s hungover? She stayed behind to drink a little more with Lexa and Anya when I went to bed.”

“I don’t know,” Anya added, “she was in a weird mood when I got back from the bathroom and she left to get back into your guys’ tent.” Anya turned her attention to Lexa who was sitting next to Aria and staring off into the distance, “What gives with blondie, Lex?”

Lexa shrugged, not taking her eyes off the lake, “Not sure.”

“Hey,” Anya moved over next to her friend and took a seat, “You okay? I thought you were having a shit ton of fun this weekend. Thought we were done with this little emo phase of yours.”

“Not emo,” Lexa muttered. She took a look at her friend and leaned into her shoulder, “Just hurting still, that’s all.”

Anya wrapped an arm around Lexa, the sign of affection didn’t go unnoticed by Clarke, still on the other side of the boat, “It’s okay, you know. It’ll hurt for a little more but then one day, you’re going to wake up and you’re going to feel okay. I promise.”

Lexa leaned onto her friend’s shoulder, “Yeah, I know.”

The boat ride back to the marina felt shorter than the ride just a few days prior. Lincoln, Anya, Lexa, and Aria all hopped into Lincoln’s car, while Octavia followed behind with Clarke and Raven. Clarke climbed into the backseat, still not really having said a word to either of her friends.

“What’s the deal, Griff?” Raven asked from the passenger seat.

Clarke shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m just confused, I really don’t know.”

“Finn?” Octavia asked, looking at her friend’s reflection from the rearview mirror.

Clarke slowly nodded, “Yeah. I thought I was okay, but I wasn’t. I thought I was ready.”

Raven was still facing Clarke, “Ready for what? What are you talking about?”

Clarke sighed, “Lexa kissed me last night. I mean, I kind of initiated the whole thing, but she kissed me. I kissed her back. We stopped and started again and it felt so good and felt like everything I wanted in that moment, but at the same time, it hurt so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about how broken I felt and I couldn’t stop thinking about everything she had told me about her ex, how she felt just as broken as I did, so I stopped it. I told her I couldn’t and that I wasn’t ready,” tears were slowly starting to form in the girl’s eyes.

“It’s okay, Griff. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll pack our bags quick and head home, okay? I’ll drive.” Raven offered.

Clarke tried to regain some sense of composure as they pulled into Lincoln and Octavia’s driveway. They saw that Anya was nearly done loading her car with hers and Lexa’s belongings. Lexa was in the backyard, walking aimlessly with Aria, probably trying to get her to go before they jumped into another car.

Goodbyes were said and hugs were given. Lexa looked up as she saw Raven waving from afar and returned the gesture. Her eyes wandered to the blonde next to her and greeted her with a nod. Seeing the gesture, Clarke slowly started to approach her, causing Aria to run up to her, meeting her halfway. Lexa couldn’t help but smile at her dog’s enthusiasm. Despite everything, it did melt a little piece of her heart that Aria had taken such a strong liking to the blonde.

“So,” Lexa said, making her way to meet Clarke where she was standing, “this is it?”

Clarke nodded, “This is it.”

Before Lexa could see what was coming, Clarke closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms so tightly around Lexa’s neck, causing the brunette to gently put her own around Clarke’s waist. Clarke nuzzled her head into Lexa as the brunette whispered, “May we meet again, Clarke.”

Clarke slowly nodded as she pulled away, looking at the girl one more time before leaning in and gently placing her lips on the brunette’s cheek. As she pulled away, she let her mouth linger near the girl’s ear, “Maybe someday…” before offering a small, sad smile, and turning to head towards her car.

_Maybe someday._

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Kinda sad. I know. There's potential for a not-so-sad follow up, though. Anyone interested in a part 2?


End file.
